likely

It is my grandmother who made me strong and who makes me stronger to keep going
I owe it to her
She brings out the best in me

I miss her so much i really hope i would see her soon

Right now my focus is school

I don't even have a social life anymore

School, hospital, and work are my life

I don't even hang out with my friends anymore

I'm busy, they're busy

So we don't find time together to spend

I wish eating out and doing food trips

It's always about food i swear 

I neither lose or gain weight what is the matter with me

Let's not talk about weight it's depressing

I hope to just pass all my course this semester

I could not wait for Christmas vacation to come 

I'm just gonna spend my vacation at home watching movies and drinking hot chocolate

That would be so awesome

It's been a long time i didn't post again

I hope my readers are doing well and good

Good luck `

unconditional love

Have you guys ever have that feeling when you just want to hug those people you love so dearly and say thank you to them for being a part of your life?
For supporting you and pushing you hard to be whoever you want to be
I guess everyone does
I'm telling you i'm not that kind of person
I want to be but it is hard to be one when you never had to start doing it
To me it is so awkward to do that
But i love it when others do it to me
I feel special to them
It means i'm a big part of their lives
They acknowledged me that is the great part
That's what unconditional love is right
It means you don't expect anything in return you love them and that's the point
It's what family and friends are for
In family they can send and push you away or you choose to leave but in the end they will always there for you well in some cases are
You yourself and they chose to forgive and forget and that takes courage and effort
Even if you did something wrong over again they will still accept you back unless they decided not to
that's what i like about family
In friends it's like the same kind of story but it has the privilege to chose and decide you are going to be friends with who you want to be like family
I don't know why i am saying all these i mean everyone knows these
It's something i'm writing based on what is on my mind writing helps me clear my mind
I think a lot of stuff i just don't have the courage to say it all out i don't have the right words
That is why i write it all out i'm that kind of person
Thank you for reading, more power `

a freelance writer

There's this story i wrote
It was nothing fancy and such it was a typical love story
It is still on the go and i haven't finished it
To put an end when i just started is a definite no no
The story runs in my mind all the time but i just have a hard time writing it or in other words expressing it in a way that people would understand what i'm getting at
and i should feel satisfied
Whenever i write it doesn't feel right
It's bcos the words i wrote do not sum up what is on my mind
That is why it's kinda frustrating for me too
I really would love to write but it is not that easy
Unlike for others it easy peasy to write and to be understood by their readers
For me i'm still in dispute with myself whether i'll continue to write stories and such
Choosing the right words is hard enough what more to get that connection with the readers
I believe every famous writers went through what i am going through right now so it is just normal
I'm not saying i'm going to be famous or something but every writer at least underwent and experienced the same dilemma or else some wouldn't have become great writers
They also have this thing called writer's block
That is just like when you are writing a test there is an essay to do you don't know how to start or you are in the middle of the paragraph and you stopped writing bcos there was nothing more to write or something along those lines
Don't get me wrong i like to blog
My blog is like my diary
I write what i did, where i went to, my thoughts etc
But writing stories is another new whole level
I guess it takes time, effort, and confidence
Right now i don't have those when it comes to writing stories
That is why the story i was writing was halted for a long time now
I feel like if i share the unfinished story i wrote
everyone can be able to read what's on my mind
I don't like to feel pressured when finishing that story
The time would come i would be able to finish writing its ending
And there will be a time i would be able to post it publicly so others will read it
Now is not the time yet ~~~
Or maybe i'm not just cut out to be a writer for love stories
Although i think i have awesome ideas on what to write about

29th of July

On my day i went to pmall with Louise and Gracia

I of course ate takoyaki again and i had my favourite original milk black tea from tea shop

Then we went to stc to meet Eunice, Kathleen, Krystel, and Gio

and watch SDTG (she's dating the gangster) it's a Filipino movie

The 06:50 pm movie was sold out

So we bought tickets for 09:45 pm 

While waiting for the time we went to chill and walk around the stc mall

We even went to a pet store 

It was fun looking at the animals

I want to buy an aquarium and fishes someday

There was a movie line up good thing we're early so the seat we picked wasn't so bad

We had popcorn and i had royal earl grey milk tea

I'm a milk tea lover as you can see

The movie was okay (to be honest i cried) clearly it wasn't like the book 

The book is way more detailed and i cried even more when i was reading

I've read it like 3 times already

That is why i love books i need to buy some soon

It was a well spent day 

From left to right: Louise, Gracia, & me

the look

Today's look though

I better start wearing false eyelashes bcos my eyelashes are just short

I just love make up

I'm not a professional but i am someone who likes the concept of make up as to why more and more people use it nowadays

I remember when i was a kid, 

i kept saying to myself that i don't like women who wears make up

But i realized as i grow older,

i've come to like the idea of being pretty once in a while using make up

It just boosts up your confidence and self esteem

Having to look good even only for yourself bcos that what matters the most

How a person views him or herself

Especially for girls, i say it's a different matter than for boys

Someday i wanna do make up with someone and do each other's look while taking a video of it 

and post it to youtube after

I think that would be lots of fun (i got the idea from youtube)

I look forward to that and also i hope i get better in doing my own make up ~~~

And maybe to others right? Why not

that kind of person

I always joke around that i have a boyfriend and i'm in a relationship
Everyone just believes it
I don't know why maybe bcos i'm secretive and i don't normally say or talk about things like that
I always bluff around that people should grasp the idea that i'm just kidding
The truth is i am single and i don't have a boyfriend
People are now asking me what are my plans for my birthday (it's this upcoming July 29th)
My aunts are saying i should have a party and i should bring my boyfriend and let him meet them
They say there is nothing wrong with that
Why? It is the time for that already?
I know i'm getting old and all
But i do think that it is early besides i don't have anyone right now
I'll maybe let them meet the only guy that i am going to marry in the future
I would want that to happen
Bcos my mom preserved her wedding gown for 10 years, i joked around and told my family that i would be wearing that wedding gown after 15 years

They say i would be too old after 15 years and it is going to be hard to conceive and get pregnant let alone more than one child

I say i'll have to save money, buy and do the things that i want first before tying the know with someone

I'm that kind of person

I believe nothing is easy when it comes to love

You just have to simply survive it

When ready, one is able to meet and find the man of her dreams who would be willing to spend the rest of his life with a person like you :)

the real question

All things worth having are worth working and fighting for - but is fighting for someone when you now is not worthy of you is the right decision at all???

love crisis

They say when you fall in love you don't what will hit you until you realize you're in deep trouble
And now i'm having trouble with myself
I don't know what gotten into me to think this way
I feel it but maybe it's just bcos i actually miss being in a relationship
(i hate to admit it but i do feel like that not mostly but sometimes and rarely)
It's my blog anyway so i'll kinda talk a lil bit about it
It's the feeling of having that instinct that you've already met him but then i might be wrong
Y'know when you have your own rules to be followed that go against that feeling
(that's me)
I'm a pride person (that's why i try to do what i say and don't break my own rule bcos i don't like it when people talk and gossip about me)
My rule # 1: not to go back to an ex
and rule # 2: never be in an official long distance relationship (flirting and MU are okay) ~~~
Bcos i don't really believe in ldr's (that's just me) i just don't think they will work
But i do know some couples who are in ldr and they are doing fine
It really takes effort and trust and never forget communication
What if one day i break my own rules that would mean i'm gonna be eating my own words
I don't know if i'll have the courage to meet hose people who i've told my rules to
What will they say about me? What will they think of me?
Nah that doesn't matter right
They aren't the one whose going to be in the relationship
They're not the one whose gonna be putting all those effort, trust, and communicating to that one person
As long as i follow my heart, you follow yours
My friends told me to take a risk but it's something to really think and debate about ~~~
But then my pride is on the line
Will i be willing to risk all of it? will i take the chance? is it worth it?
When i got my fortune cookie it said my fate is on my hands literally
That means i need to do something to somehow work it out
That's pressure on my side
If i ever get to decide i'll let you guys know
Thank you so much for the people who reads my blog and for cheering on me
XYZed i'm rooting for you ~~~
I'll get over it soon
P.S. XYZed was a nickname given by my friend

the wedding day

On June 28th of 2014,
Two lovely persons decided to finally tie the knot
I'm just extremely happy for them
May they live long and stay together until they grow old with or without teeth ~~~
Special thanks to my friends Eunice and Kathleen (thank you for being the photographer)
We even went to the beach and got soaked
(my dress did bcos i was wearing a long gown)
It was fun riding the limo and all, what a new experience
I can never imagine my mom getting married but it did happen
I hope i'll have a marvellous wedding like my mom and stepdad had
Future husband you have to save now okay? I'll meet you soon ;)
Note: Eunice has already uploaded the vlog of the wedding
You can watch and check it out at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_97rqMrHMnw
Have fun and enjoy watching her other vlogs

My make up as a bridesmaid (i did my own make up) ~~~

Right picture: the wedding invitation w/ a pocket (ready to buy diy)

Right picture: Kathleen, me, & Eunice inside the limo

Right picture: with the groom and the bride (aka my stepdad & my mom)

sorry not sorry

I'm guilty of something
I've been busy for these past days that i missed blogging about what i did fun for those days
I feel like i neglected my blog but it's not quite true
Please be patient for i will soon post what i've been up to for the past days
Stay tuned `

untold

I hate not being told
I become mad and i never forget
It reminds me of the past all over again and it enrages me
It enrages me that i could not stop thinking about something
Then i start over again back from the beginning, from forgiving to forgetting and it's turning into a bad habit.
Only if i have the courage to voice out my thoughts. Literally

bloomed

I'm in love with myself. Is that enough explanation
I took time and put a huge effort to look good in the outside
I self reflect to become a better person in the inside
No need to explain and to answer questions ~~~